Sunday, July 11, 2010

Excerpt from Cinderella Retelling

Sorry about the blog silence! To make up for it, here is an excerpt from my Cinderella retelling, which is unnamed for now. This is my opening scene. I wrote this because I needed to get behind Pierre's eyeballs so I could fall in love with him a little:

(Interruption - Blogger dropped my post when I finished it this morning! I was so traumatized that I was not able to come back and rewrite this until now. Anyway, here it is:)

“A woman, monsieur?”

Pierre ignored his valet’s doubtful tone. “Not just any woman, Corbeau. The modiste’s daughter.”

“And she’s a valet?”

“Of course not. She’s a . . . a . . . well, I don’t think society has a name for what she does. But her mother has created my suit for the festivities, and her daughter . . . well, she’s going to do me.”

“Do you, monsieur?”

“No, do me. That’s how she puts it. She does people.”

“If you don’t mind my saying so, monsieur—but you can hardly bear to be done by me. Why the sudden interest in being done, as this . . . this mysterious valette insists upon putting it?”

Pierre grinned, knowing Corbeau wasn’t nearly as annoyed as he sounded. “For that, you could only understand if you knew the valette herself.”

“Aah. Well in that case, I have a word of advice, monsieur.”

“Yes, Corbeau?”

“Wear a codpiece.”

I trust everyone knows what a codpiece is? If not, you'll know by the next scene, if you read it. I coined a French word here, valette, and I trust I did it right, but I'll have to run it by an actual French speaker to be sure. The Sevenfold Spell had a British flavor, so I'm making this one French. I'm thinking the Snow White retelling might be German, and Beauty and the Beast will be Irish. If I write any retellings beyond those, I'll go for other cultures. India especially has some wonderful legends.

What are your favorite legends or fairy tales?


  1. My favorite is the Scottish folktale, Childe Roland. It's almost a typical man frees princess from the evil elves tale, except that the princess the guy frees is his sister, not some gal he's never seen before. Also, the princes-who-failed that he also rescues are his older brothers. Any claim to the throne would be clearer if he hadn't rescued them. He rescues them anyway; he wants his relatives back. {Smile}

    Also notable are Ogier the Dane and Huon of the Horn of the Charlemange cyles, and Gawaine and the Green Knight and Caradoc of the Shrunken Arm of the King Arthur tales, Kawelo of Hawaiian legend, and Issunboshi, a Japanese fairytale. {Smile}

    Anne Elizabeth Baldwin

  2. I always really enjoyed "Firebird" which is a Russian Fairy Tale. It's on my list future writing projects. I enjoy reading retellings as well. Your Cinderella one sounds very cool.

  3. You guys are giving me great story fodder! Cool!


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